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I Love the Sound of Their Unraveling When I Peg Them

Audessy Last Updated:Jul 10.2026

Some desires sit quietly in the background for years, waiting for the right moment to make sense. Pegging was one of them.

We all have dreams or desires we aren't sure will come true. They're always there, waiting for you to catch up to them. But the ache of the will it or won't it happen, is frustrating 😔

For me, pegging was one of those 😁
Long before I had the language for it, before I’d bought a single thing or said a word out loud, I was dreaming about it and I mean that literally. Actual dreams, the kind you wake up from still half-living in. In them I was always the one doing the penetrating.

I'd feel the sensation of it, the weight and the act, and I’d hear my partner’s pleasure rise as a part of me moved inside them. I’d wake up certain of something I didn’t yet have words for: that this wasn’t a passing curiosity. It was a piece of who I am.

I'm pansexual born all female, and I love that about myself. But I’d be lying if I said there weren't moments, plenty of them, where you could fairly call it a little classic penis envy. Freud would’ve had a field day 🤣

For me it was never about wanting to be something I'm not; it was about a particular kind of giving, a particular kind of power and closeness, that I instinctively wanted to offer.

So when I bought my first strap-on last year and put it together, I expected to feel nervous. Maybe a little silly. Instead I felt something I wasn’t braced for: recognition. Like a piece I hadn't known was missing had quietly slid back into place. There it was, finally, the thing my dreams had been describing to me for years. Was attached to me and felt... amazing. Complete even. 🩷

And the act itself? I love it. I love the sensation, I love the intimacy of it, I love hearing a partner come undone and knowing I'm the reason. It is, simply, me — a part of my sexuality I get to fully inhabit now instead of only visiting in my sleep. A literal dream come true ☺️

This is one of the most honest things I can say about my own awakening: I waited a long time to meet this part of myself, and now that we've been introduced, I have no intention of letting go. I'm still exploring. Still learning what I like, how I like it, who I get to be in those moments.